THE XXII

22

That's how many

we were told to count.

As if they were numbers.

As if you could put

twenty-two lives

on a page

and call it a day.

But

1

was somebody's son.

Somebody's little boy

who once fell asleep

holding his mother's hand.

2

was somebody's daughter.

Somebody's baby

who grew up

and learned how to carry

a rifle

before she learned

how to put down

the memories.

3

was somebody's husband.

Somebody's wife.

Somebody's

I'll see you when I get home.

4

was somebody's father.

A little voice

still asking,

"When is Daddy coming back?"

And nobody

knows how to answer.

5

was somebody's brother.

The person who knew

every stupid story

from childhood.

The one who could make

everybody laugh.

The one whose name

still comes up

at Christmas.

6

was somebody's best friend.

The one who said,

"I've got you."

And meant it.

Even when

he needed somebody

to say it to him.

7

came home.

But the war

came home with him.

It slept beside him.

Sat at the dinner table.

Followed him

into crowded rooms.

Waited for him

in the dark.

8

learned that sometimes

the hardest battle

is the one nobody

can see.

9

said,

"I'm fine."

Because that's what

we teach people to say

when the truth

is too heavy.

10

smiled.

Went to work.

Answered the phone.

Made plans.

And nobody knew

how close

the edge was.

11

had a photograph

somewhere.

Maybe smiling.

Maybe in uniform.

Maybe standing beside

people who loved him

and never imagined

they would one day

be looking at that picture

instead of his face.

12

was somebody's

favorite person.

Not a veteran.

Not a statistic.

Not 12.

A person.

13

had a name.

14

had a laugh.

15

had a bad day.

16

had a favorite song.

17

had somebody

waiting for a phone call.

18

had somebody

who would have answered

at 3 a.m.

19

had somebody

who still wishes

they had known

what to say.

20

had another morning

they thought

they would see.

21

thought the pain

would never end.

But pain lies.

It tells you

tomorrow will look

exactly like today.

It tells you

you are a burden.

It tells you

nobody will notice

if you're gone.

It lies.

And 22

was not a number.

22

was a chair

that stayed empty.

22

was a phone

that stopped ringing.

22

was a mother

who learned

how to cry quietly.

22

was a father

who still checks

the driveway.

22

was a child

who will grow up

with memories

instead of new ones.

22

was a uniform

that will never

be worn again.

22

was a birthday

that will never

receive a phone call.

22

was someone

who believed

there was no way out.

And maybe

that's where

we failed them.

Not because

they weren't strong.

Not because

they didn't fight.

They fought.

God,

they fought.

They fought

for us.

They fought

beside us.

Some of them

fought battles

we will never understand.

And when they came home,

we asked them

if they were okay.

They said,

"Yeah."

And we believed them.

So don't just

remember the 22.

Remember the one

sitting beside you.

The one who got quiet.

The one who stopped calling.

The one who drinks alone.

The one who says

they don’t sleep anymore.

The one who laughs

when you ask

if something's wrong.

The one who says,

"Don't worry about me."

Worry about them.

Call them.

Sit with them.

Ask again.

And when they say,

"I'm fine,"

don't always

let fine

be the end

of the conversation.

Because somewhere

there is a veteran

who doesn't need

a speech.

Doesn't need

a medal.

Doesn't need

someone to tell him

to be stronger.

They may only need

one person

to stay.

One person

to listen.

One person

to say,

"You don't have to carry this alone."

So tonight,

don't count to 22.

Count the people

still here.

1.

2.

3.

Keep counting.

Keep calling.

Keep showing up.

Keep asking.

Keep listening.

Keep them here.

Because the most important

number

isn't the number

we lost.

It's

**the one

we still have time

to save.**

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My Therapist Is My GPS: Finding My Way Through Life After Retirement